This little girl's dreams:
band practices with CMIYC
receive a medal from fencing join some class this summer
decide about my future career, fast.
make some money this summer
wardrobe improvement
go out as much as possible with friends start on a painting get some decent shoes
seek for shopping buddy/ies perform in front of people grow taller
grow taller-er meet new acquaintances
find some scientific way to eat chocolate without getting fat some design ideas
shoot, shoot, shoot! with CMIYC gain knowledge that will be relevant to the lessons of next year
love more. a vanity session with my sister
have my camera fixed espionage mode go to the beach without getting TOO dark go to Serendra
Zara dress
have the acoustic guitar fixed
more, more, MORE neoprints.
master the art of time management
bike with my dad Defeat little Ms. Sunshine. :)
do something creative with kit-kat wrappers
Europe trip
Wear a red prom dress
SMILE
I GUESSEVENTIMEMELTSBECAUSEOFSUMMERHEAT.
Thursday, April 30, 2009, 9:38 PM
PLEASE, JUST SAY THE WORD.
So long sweet summer I stumbled upon you and gratefully basked in your rays So long sweet summer I fell into you, now you're gracefully falling away
Hey thanks Thanks for that summer It's cold where you're going I hope that you're hearts always warm I gave you the best I gave you the best that I had Passed on the letters And passed on the best that I had So long sweet summer...
MAJORPAIN.
, 6:56 PM
FRIG THIS DAY.
Right now, I feel like paper & I feel like those decoy dolls who were used for practice. The only difference: I bruise, they don't. Well, maybe they do, but they don't feel. I can't sleep on my right side because my shot mark is there. Why is it that the after part hurts the most when it comes to shots... :( I can't sleep on my left side either because I have two ugly yellowish bruises. At one point, I could barely walk because of bruises on my legs. And to make things worse, I have a canker sore (fancier term for singaw). I almost puked when I was reading something about it. @-) I CAN'T EVEN EAT because of it. I haven't had breakfast.
Oh, and just when I thought I couldn't get more harassed, TOM decided to visit. :| You'll get it sooner when you're a girl. And by saying that, I suppose even dudes get it now.
I don't know why I'm ranting about my physcial pain. =))
=== In other news, Zap and Tricia came with me during fencing class! yay!! I'm tiny :D
Then, we went all vain and played with our colored walls.
I MISSED YOU GUYS!!
We should do this more often. :)
I'm glad this isn't my last post.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009, 1:25 PM
Oh, shi-
It's 4am.
And since I'm awake like whoah and I have nothing interesting to do, I am going to just type and type away. I warned you.
One of the most annoying things when you can't sleep at night is the paranoia that attacks you with NO MERCY AT ALL.
And since you've got nothing to do at this time but just stare at the ceiling (unless, it's all dark and all you're doing is actually staring into one great, black abyss), you're left with one thing to do:
LISTEN TO EVERY FRIGGIN' SOUND HEARD.
The sad, sad fact is, all the sounds heard in the environment is, like, AMPLIFIED like TEN TIMES. And ohyeah, being my OMGI'MSOAFRAIDOFEVERYTHINGSELF, well, I BECAME AFRAID OF EVERYTHING.
SOOOO....
I was hearing some creaks and stuffs. My first intuition was, "that's the electric fan....hahahaha" but paranoia attacks like whoah so I thought some odd creature decided to live in our little bathroom.
So here were my predictions:
1. If it were a cat, I'd die of rabies because it'll pounce on me and start scratching my face and whatnot. 2. If it were something worse (like some human being), I'd die because he/she would most likely have some weapon like a gun, knife or anything that can cause sudden death. wooh. 3. If I won't check what the friggin' hell it was, I'd die of anxiety.
So, you know what I did? I got up, turned off my electric fan... at this point, I found out the sounds were coming from my electric fan.
That's so awesome.
But what really, REALLY bothers me the most is the fact that I can't go back to sleep anymore. I guess what's keeping me awake is the fact that I had so much to worry about this week. You can say all these worries were condensed in this one night thus keeping me awake. Heh, actually only ONE was truly keeping me up all night. And it won't leave this puny brain of mine until I receive a message.
For the love of god, sleeping was WAY easier than this. :|
I DON'T WANT TO GET UPSET BUT I AM. I feel like a madman, you know. :(
Just needed to get that off my chest.
two in a row. I must have no life.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009, 8:31 PM
I MISSED THOSE DAYS...
...when reputation didn't matter, when a person just lived life normally, without being too concerned whether his or her name will be plastered all over, whether or not it'll be seen in lights, when you didn't have to be somebody, but yourself, when labels didn't matter.
... when the harsh words thrown at you were as strong as flimsy paper flying in the wind's direction, when there was nothing to care about but living the way you wanted to, when you didn't care about what people called you, a star, or a shadow in the background, when you didn't have to look good for anybody, when you didn't care at all how they looked at you, when you didn't have to change for people.
... when it was so very easy to put on a smile, no hesitations, no bad intentions, when laughing was genuine, when you can openly show to people how you truly felt because you'd know they understand.
... when we didn't know everything, when our tiny little heads didn't hold pieces of information about the horrid things in life, about the stuff that truly hurt, when we didn't make a big deal about the things media said mattered.
... when LOVE was a whole different word, when there was still a trace of innocence in it, when you can be friends with anyone who came your way, when you accepted their invitation without being too skeptical, too paranoid.
...when you can act like a madman without being too concerned over people's criticizing eyes.
